The Prioritizing Tool Every Parent of an ADHD Child Should Know
It was a Tuesday. No, it was Wednesday.
Honestly, the days blur together sometimes (most times LOL).
I had a to-do list that was three pages long (okay, one page, but it felt like ten).
My kiddo needed help with a project that was due "soon" which all parents know meant tomorrow. UGH!
I had emails I hadn't answered, calls I hadn't returned, and approximately four things I'd told myself were "the most important thing" that week.
I sat down to start. I stared at my computer screen for five minutes. Then I sat there some more.
Not because I wasn't trying to get started. Not because I wasn’t “really” concerned about my to-do list.
But because when everything feels urgent, nothing actually gets done.
The overwhelm wins.
Sound familiar?
I found what’s called the Eisenhower Matrix. And it changed the way I thought about things. Not just for me but for how I started helping my kids think through their weeks too.
For ADHD'ers that are visually cued, this is a game changer.
So, What Heck Is This Thing?
The Eisenhower Matrix is a time-management tool that helps people decide what deserves their attention first.
It's especially helpful for people with ADHD and executive functioning challenges because it reduces decision fatigue and makes priorities visible instead of trying to keep everything organized in your head.
The Eisenhower Matrix is just a simple four-box grid.
That's it. No app is required. You could draw it on a napkin.
Crazy, right?!?
Here's how it works.
You take everything on your plate, and I mean everything.
It’s called a brain dump. I call it brain vomiting.
You write down every task, every request, every "I really should". Then you sort it into one of four boxes:
Box 1: Do It Now
Urgent AND important. The thing that actually has to happen today. The IEP meeting that's tomorrow. The permission slip that was due yesterday. The child who is currently melting down.
Box 2: Schedule It
Important but NOT urgent. This is the proactive stuff that will save your sanity later. Like researching your child's evaluation options. Building a morning routine that actually works. Practicing an EF (executive function) skill before it becomes a crisis. This box is where real progress lives, and most of us never get here because Box 1 keeps eating our whole day.
Box 3: Delegate It
Urgent but NOT important. Someone needs something and they need it now, but does it have to be you? Can someone else handle it? Can it wait five minutes while you finish what actually matters?
Box 4: Let It Go
Not urgent. Not important. Off the list. Done. Bye.
I also keep this section as a “I’d like to do this someday”.
Why This Works for Our Brains
Here's the thing about ADHD and executive functioning challenges, and I'm speaking as someone who lives this, not just coaches it.
ADHD brains don't naturally sort tasks by priority. Instead, everything feels equally important.
So, we often tackle whatever is easiest, newest, loudest, or right in front of us. Or we freeze completely because deciding what comes first feels impossible.
Worse yet, we procrastinate and don’t choose anything to do next. The ‘everything’ feels big and causes anxiety. We procrastinate and feel better for maybe a minute or two. But that is short lived. We start getting anxious about what we haven’t done.
The matrix gives your brain a container. Instead of having 50 ‘tabs’ open on our brain’s laptop at one time, you're just answering two questions:
Is this urgent? Is this important?
Notice what's missing?
"Do I feel like doing it?"
ADHD brains often make decisions based on emotion instead of priority.
The matrix gently shifts the question from "What feels urgent?" to "What actually matters most?"
That's it. Two questions. Four boxes. So much less noise. This way you go can quiet your brain because you know everything is written down and you won’t forget any of it.
I actually have small notebooks (like the 2” X 3” ones) with a pen stuck in the spiral wires all over the house. The kitchen. The bathroom. On the end table by my bed. If I think of something I need to do, buy, etc. I write it down immediately, so I don’t add to the noise in my head. Then I’ll go around and take out those pages when I do my brain dump.
One of the things I love most about the Eisenhower Matrix is that it doesn't just organize your tasks. it quiets your brain.
Instead of trying to mentally juggle 37 different things at once, you've given every task a place to live.
That frees up mental energy for the things that really matter like connecting with your kids, solving problems, and actually finishing what you start.
Sometimes productivity isn't about doing more.
It's about carrying less in your head.
Using It With Your Kids
For kids with EF challenges, planning feels impossible because the future isn't real yet.
A project due in two weeks genuinely does not feel like something that needs attention today. That's not an attitude problem; that's time blindness doing its thing. It sucks!
The matrix makes the future feel more concrete.
You can sit down together on Sunday night (or whatever day works for your family) and just sort the week.
What's due soon? Box 1.
What do we need to work on a little at a time? Box 2.
What can wait or doesn't actually matter? Box 3 or 4.
You're not nagging.
You're not chasing.
You're building a shared picture of the week together. And over time, with consistency and patience, your kid starts to internalize the questions. Is this urgent? Is this important?
It becomes a thinking tool, not just something Mom or Dad asks.
That's developing executive functioning skills in real time.
Start Small
You don't have to overhaul everything at once. (Actually, please PLEASE don't overhaul everything at once.)
This week, try this.
At the start of one day, write down everything you need to do.
Then draw four boxes on paper, in your notes app, wherever and just sort.
Don't overthink it. Done imperfectly beats not done at all.
Then pick one thing from Box 2 that you've been putting off because it wasn't screaming loudly enough for your attention.
Do a little bit of it. Even just ten minutes moves you closer to the goal.
That's the work. Quiet, intentional, and proactive.
That's where the change actually happens.
And if you want support figuring out where your kiddo's biggest EF gaps are and what's keeping them in permanent Box 1 mode, my EF Skills Quiz is a great place to start.
Five minutes, real clarity, no guesswork.
I made a video to show how I use the matrix and brain dumping myself 😊
