My Story and Why I Do What I Do: Part 1

Hi! My name is Christie and I’d like to share my story with you.

Let’s travel back to 2007. My stepson was getting ready to enter first grade; however, he

wasn’t ready. Even after doing kindergarten twice. We knew something wasn’t “just

right” but couldn’t put a finger on it. My background is mental health as well as

intellectual and developmental disabilities and I couldn’t come up with an answer.

Being of the proactive sort (LOL), I found out who oversaw school assessments and

had him set up for summer. After two days of evaluations, the answer was in. Auditory

Processing Disorder. She said he could be the poster child. Yay. She gave a very

thorough report of her assessment as well as recommending an evaluation by a

speech/language pathologist. We did that too.

Now, here I am on the first day of school with reports in hand. Proactive, remember? Ya,

nope! I was told that procedure was six weeks of in class observation and intervention

before any meetings could be requested. You can imagine the look on my face as I said,

“I understand, but this is the lady you will send him to when you see his challenges”. I’m

thinking, logically, COOL! Time saved! Won’t they appreciate it?

Nope!

So I requested a meeting to be scheduled at “six weeks and a day” because he needs

supports and he’s already been evaluated and his needs addressed by the actual

evaluator for the district. Honestly, I don’t remember if they actually scheduled the

meeting that day or not, but we had IEP meeting #1 at around 7-8 weeks. He was set

up with ESE for math and English and speech therapy weekly.

Around Thanksgiving, he got a new teacher. After a few weeks, I checked in with her to

see how things were going. She wasn’t familiar with his IEP and only knew that he left

class 60% of the day for ESE and speech. Frustrated, I head to the front office. I asked

about this in addition to the OT referral that had been put in during the first IEP meeting.

“He’s on the list.” I started to loathe that response! I requested a meeting. I was told that

there is only one IEP meeting a year. (NOT TRUE by the way) So, I proceeded to say,

“call it whatever you want, I want a meeting”.

So, we have a second meeting (IEP #2), and miraculously the OT eval was done.

Happiness and the feeling of relief that things are finally smoothing out were fleeting

though because next was a discussion of his “behavior plan”. To take you back in bit in

my career, I worked with DD/IDD individuals in the past so I’m familiar with behavior

plans. The first jaw dropper was that he was even on a plan because I had no

knowledge of it. This is a huge no-no. No changes to placements/services without

parental/guardian approval. I ask how long this has been in place and why. Almost two

months! What?!? Of course this is the first I’m hearing about it. And the why -- well, he

would start sobbing so badly when he got frustrated with his work that he was becoming

disruptive to the class. I was aware of the alligator tears as a mechanism to get out of

assignments. Staff were made aware of this back at “meet the teacher” day. I make it a

rule to keep teachers in the loop of all coping skills, good and bad, that my children

have when dealing with frustration and overwhelm.

I don’t remember exactly the reasoning, but we could not address the behavior plan

during this meeting. I’m thinking it was probably because his behaviors were in fact still

happening. So …

You guessed it! Meeting #3 was requested. UGH! This was insanity. Day one of school,

I’m thinking – I’m ahead of the game and he’ll be back on grade level by year’s end. Not

the case. He was showing improvements in speech/language and beginning to grasp

concepts regarding math and reading. The occupational therapy was to start soon.

Here we are at IEP #3. The behavior plan is discontinued, OT services are up and

running, speech is going well.

I finally (optimistically) breathe a sigh of relief. I’d been waiting to exhale for 5 or 6

months at this point. My ultimate goal for the first year? Get his self-esteem to a place

where he didn’t completely shut down and could open himself up for learning. Thanks to

an amazing, and mean angel level amazing, his ESE teacher and speech therapist had

him at a great place to start second grade.

Wow. Just wow! What a first year!

Looking back, I think – “what if I didn’t have some inkling about IEP and educational

challenges”? I already have a pretty “loud” voice and have been an advocate for years.

But the red tape, confusion, frustration and overwhelm during this process were, sadly,

surprising.

I say all of this simply to say to you that I absolutely do know where you are, what you

feel, and how you think. I was there. Down in the muck. Confused and very concerned

for my child’s future.

The end of this story is a spectacular one! He was on grade level by the time he entered

third grade; was on consultation services by the time he went to high school (although

still having the accommodation of extended time) and graduated with a regular diploma

– A and B honor roll. Not a certificate of completion. Not a GED. He had made it!

I had to move him to another school zone in middle school due to bullying.

But that … that is another story!