I Didn't Start Out as a Parent Advocate
I didn't start out as a parent advocate.
I started out as a mom who was exhausted, confused, and just trying to figure out why things were so hard.
It started with my son. When he was getting ready to enter first grade, I knew something wasn't adding up. He needed more support than a typical classroom was going to give him. After some digging, we got a diagnosis: auditory processing disorder. That diagnosis was the beginning of my education in how to fight for a child inside a school system that doesn't always make it easy.
I pushed for meetings. (They'll tell you there's only one meeting a year, by the way. That's not true if you're willing to be a little pushy. LOL.) After three meetings in that first year alone, my son was on his way back to grade level. By third grade, he was right on target.
I thought we were through the hard part.
Then middle school hit.
New challenges started showing up. Anxiety. Social awkwardness that went beyond typical. After another evaluation, we learned he was on the autism spectrum. Today, he's working part time, pursuing cyber certifications, and building a life he's proud of. That journey, from the little boy who needed so much extra support to the young man he is now, is one of the greatest things I've ever witnessed.
But while all of that was happening, my daughter was writing her own chapter.
She started showing signs of significant emotional dysregulation around age six. At the time, I was a mental health therapist. So naturally I thought, I've got this. Talk therapy should do it.
It didn't.
We tried private school. Virtual school. Back to public school. Each transition came with hope, and each one eventually came with more struggle. Mornings were a battle. Attendance was a problem. Assignments felt impossible. And underneath all of it was this big feeling I couldn't shake that we were still missing something.
She was diagnosed with ADHD around sixth grade. But my gut said that wasn't the whole picture. After a deeper evaluation, we found out she was also on the spectrum.
And then something unexpected happened.
Learning about my daughter started teaching me about myself.
I was diagnosed with ADHD later in life, which is actually pretty common for women because we are really good at masking and compensating. But the more I learned about what was going on in my daughter's brain, the more I recognized those same patterns in myself. The more I understood her executive functioning challenges, the more I understood my own.
(Oh, and my husband? Also, ADHD. So yes. Ours is a very neurospicy household.) LOLOL
That whole journey changed the direction of my life.
I had to leave my full-time job three years ago to be more available and supportive for my daughter. About two years ago I made a decision: I wanted to use everything I had learned, the hard way, the long way, the messy way, to help other parents who are in the thick of it right now.
Because here's the thing I keep coming back to.
Our kids aren't giving us a hard time. They are having a hard time. Their behavior is communication. It is the only language they have for needs they don't yet have words for. And when we start seeing it that way, everything shifts.
I know what it feels like to be utterly confused and defeated. I know the feeling of having no idea what is happening with your kiddo. I know the pain of wanting to fix things and not know how.
I know what it feels like to sit in an IEP meeting and not understand what anyone is saying. I know what it feels like to try every strategy and wonder why nothing is working.
I know what it feels like to love your child fiercely and still feel completely lost.
That is exactly why I do this work.
You don't have to reinvent the wheel. You don't have to figure it out alone. And your child doesn't have to wait any longer for the support they deserve.
I'm here. Support is just around the corner.
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