Why Is It So Hard to Get Supports and Services for Children in School?

Have you ever tried to get your child support services at school like occupational/speech therapy, academic accommodations, counseling or behavioral interventions? Then you probably already know it’s basically pulling teeth without Novocaine or at least that’s what it can feel like. But why? Why does it sometimes feel like you’re fighting an uphill battle to get the help your child needs and deserves?

Here’s a brief look into some of the major reasons behind the challenge.

1. Underfunding and Resource Constraints

Schools are stretched thin and getting stretched thinner every year. Many districts are underfunded, facing shortages of special education teachers, school psychologists, and therapists. Even when a child clearly needs support, the staff and/or time to provide it simply might not be available. This can lead to delays, denials, or watered-down services.

2. Complicated Systems and Bureaucracy

The eligibility process for services is complex, not to mention confusing for parents. It usually requires evaluations, documentation, meetings, and legal processes governed by federal laws like IDEA (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act) and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act. For parents, it can very often feel like you’re playing a game that no one gave you the rules to and losing is not an option.

3. Gatekeeping and High Thresholds for Qualification

Some schools set a high bar before offering services. Children may need to “fail” first or demonstrate significant struggles before they're eligible for help. This wait-to-fail model is frustrating for parents who can clearly see their child struggling early on. This was my experience with my son in 2007. You can read more about that in my post entitled My Story and Why I Do What I Do (click here to read).

4. Stigma and Misunderstanding

Sadly, there’s still stigma around special education and mental health services. Some educators may not fully understand certain learning differences or behavioral challenges and might downplay parent concerns especially in the areas of ADHD and Autism. Others might fear labeling or tracking students too early.

5. Inconsistent Implementation

Even when a child qualifies for support, frequently how those services are delivered vary. Some schools have strong support systems; others may not follow through with IEPs (Individualized Education Programs) or accommodations consistently, either due to oversight or lack of accountability. This is where parent advocacy is so important. You are the overseer of your child’s supports and often must keep detailed documentation on the consistency of services. This can include having to ask for the simplest of things, like copies of evaluations or IEPs. This is not a one and done endeavor and often feels like a full-time job in and of itself.

6. Parents Are Often Left to Navigate Alone

Many families have no idea what their legal rights are or how to advocate effectively for their child. Schools aren’t always transparent. The emotional toll on parents trying to push through roadblocks—often while juggling work and family life—is brutal. It can feel lonely, overwhelming, frustrating and defeating.

What can be done? We need better investments in education and mental health services so that schools have the capacity to support every child that is in need. Teachers and staff need up to date trainings on recognizing and supporting diverse learning and behavioral needs. Policy changes are needed to simplify processes, lower the eligibility thresholds for supports, and holding schools accountable for providing services consistently. And last, but certainly not least, is stronger advocacy at all levels: parent advocates, nonprofit organizations, and legal aid to help families navigate the system and assert their and their child's legal rights.

In conclusion, no parent should have to fight so hard for their child to receive a fair education. The operative word here is “should”. In most situations, parents must fiercely advocate. The current system too often favors those who are informed, persistent, and privileged enough to navigate its complexity. This is where empowerment coaching can be invaluable.